Now that I am past the initial intimidating thought of writing my first blog post I thought I’d be much more relaxed and I’d settle into deciding on a bucket list item to do and document.
To be completely honest though, I find the thought completely bewildering. I have spent the last week since entering the blogosphere swirling around, out of my depth in blog related terms, looking up what a ping-back is (when someone mentions your blog in theirs), what categories are and how to tag your blog so that people will find it. I have also been fighting an internal battle trying to decide whether to link my Facebook page with my blog or whether to keep some anonymity.
When looking at a learner’s For the beauty of expression I found myself torn. There is some appeal in linking my blog with Facebook (perhaps from some hidden narcissistic thread) and telling friends and family about it so I can share my journeys with the ones I love. At the same time there is a part of me that longs for an anonymous platform where I can release my thoughts with an honesty that is hard to find when the picture others have of who you are comes from a mishmash of other places and past experiences.
Regardless of whether a blog is inherently narcissistic in nature or merely a way of expressing ones thoughts and diary entries to the world in a digital age, I think that to follow honestly and openly through what I want this blog to be; perhaps the answer lies somewhere in between.
Which brings me back to bucket lists.
Since joining WP I have found a few people who have started a bucket list to document their adventures, so on one hand I’m feeling like I’ve joined a group of like-minded people with a goal to live a little more ‘outside the everyday’. Like Jacqueline from 6 Months To Live where she is really making things happen for herself in her own unique way which I think is great.
On the other hand my pessimistic alter ego sitting in the corner with her bad attitude likes to predict that people will think the worst…’aww look another person out there writing a bucket list and thinking random strangers will give a crap’. I can’t help but feel a little unoriginal. Similarly I feel sorry for friends and family as once you let them know ’hey I started a blog’ friends may feel obliged to read it (My poor, poor friends) My Parent’s may feel more up to date (because god knows the kids never call enough) and then there are the distant Facebook friends (if the blog is linked) which could put the blog at risk of being merely an extension of facebook where one can measure themselves up against a perception how others look; displayed within the snapshots of what is posted on profiles (aka must look good in all photos and must appear successful so that I will look good to people I used to know).
I actually hope that I can keep some sort of balance between sharing with family, friends and bloggers that like what I post while making sure that the most important person I consider when writing my blog is me. If I am always happy with what I write, well then, to be completely honest, bugger the rest.
Again I have found myself wandering aimlessly through my thoughts far far away from my initial aim of deciding on what bucket list item to tackle first.
An endless babble of insecure questions.
Do I need to choose something radical to capture a readership? If I choose to ease myself in with something simple, dipping my big toe into the blogosphere swimming pool will I be boring those who are braver and jump in head first? Will the bravery I seek come from anonymity?
Re-reading what I have written I am probably just being insecure and over thinking it. I have procrastinated to the point of indecision so I’m going to leave it there for today. Perhaps tomorrow I will make some pasta from scratch or learn Spanish. The first one…doable, the second…well may as well get started, as they say ‘Spain wasn’t built in a day’…oh wait that was Rome, Dammit!